Is the greatest TV show ive ever seen in my fucking life.
Vampires
Sex
Drugs
Drinking
Violence
Werewolves
shit is sick..
end of story..
im hooked....
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Insomnia
Ive been having a really hard time trying to sleep lately. I haven't been able to write a single word either. Ive just been in this stagnant mood lately. Not necessarily depressed and not peaceful or happy. Just a purgatory of emotion. I'm not second guessing my decision to move to Portland, OR....It's more of a feeling like I'm slightly spinning my wheels here in Aptos, Ca.
I know I need to make this money here so i can leave. More of a feeling of being slightly tugged at to stay. By my mother...by my boss/adopta-daddy. By knowing that I could do fairly decent financially out here if I did stay. Than on the other side you have my best friend Matthew who cant wait to leave CA and join me in OR. And than you have my cousin Shane who is selling many of his things and consolidating his possessions to be lighter for travel, He keeps calling me and telling me how excited he is.
Maybe its a pressure thing. Not only do I have to make this happen for myself but i also have some people that i care very deeply about depending on me to show them the way or carve the path out a bit.
A mecca. For me..for my cousin and for anyone else who wants to do what we do. I'm not a complete minimalist....the nerd in me wont allow me to be. But I'm not a complete money grubbing whore. Its not even about that shit anymore. Its becoming more and more apparent to me every day that I am looking for something and I have this deep hole missing inside me that wont allow me to be peaceful for long.
I know Ill probably never attain true peace of mind or soul or what not. But I am still searching. I have an idea of one thing I'm missing but i just know its only a smaller piece of a larger whole. I just cant figure out what it is that I'm missing.
I'm just babbling now...and Its late and I hear some creepy sounds outside in the dark and in the night.
I just got my knife..I think I will sleep with it tonight...
I know I need to make this money here so i can leave. More of a feeling of being slightly tugged at to stay. By my mother...by my boss/adopta-daddy. By knowing that I could do fairly decent financially out here if I did stay. Than on the other side you have my best friend Matthew who cant wait to leave CA and join me in OR. And than you have my cousin Shane who is selling many of his things and consolidating his possessions to be lighter for travel, He keeps calling me and telling me how excited he is.
Maybe its a pressure thing. Not only do I have to make this happen for myself but i also have some people that i care very deeply about depending on me to show them the way or carve the path out a bit.
A mecca. For me..for my cousin and for anyone else who wants to do what we do. I'm not a complete minimalist....the nerd in me wont allow me to be. But I'm not a complete money grubbing whore. Its not even about that shit anymore. Its becoming more and more apparent to me every day that I am looking for something and I have this deep hole missing inside me that wont allow me to be peaceful for long.
I know Ill probably never attain true peace of mind or soul or what not. But I am still searching. I have an idea of one thing I'm missing but i just know its only a smaller piece of a larger whole. I just cant figure out what it is that I'm missing.
I'm just babbling now...and Its late and I hear some creepy sounds outside in the dark and in the night.
I just got my knife..I think I will sleep with it tonight...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
